❝ I tell myself
Be a funny girl, baby.
Don’t let them see you
without a smile.
I tell myself
Don’t be boring, baby.
They’ll never stop teasing you
if you don’t make them laugh.
Fat girl. 
I tell myself
I can be a funny girl, instead.
Funny girl can make people
forget.
I tell myself
Don’t you dare be sad
in front of them. Don’t you
dare cry.
I tell myself not to fall in love
with the first boy who likes
my poetry.
I tell myself not to fall in love
with the first boy who doesn’t
like my jokes.
Funny girl, he can see how serious
you are.
I tell myself not to fall in love with
the first boy who doesn’t ask me
to make him laugh.
Funny girl isn’t a clown, I think.
Don’t fall in love because 
it’s been so long, baby.
Don’t fall in love because
he likes it when you cry.
I tell myself to be careful.
Funny girl is running out
of punchlines, and she is using
her own jaw instead.
Funny girl is dying with a smile,
swallowing down a panic attack
when she has to squeeze into a seat
on the bus.
I tell myself
No one can hurt you if you
hurt yourself, first. They will be
too busy helping you clean up the mess.
I tell myself
You don’t have to wear this armor
if it is too heavy.
You don’t have to
be afraid of your silence.
Funny girl, you are so much more
than what you’ve let yourself become.
You are not a circus, okay?
You are not a circus.
You are not a circus. ❞


Funny Girl (after Fat Girl by Megan Falley) | Caitlyn Siehl