Rules for Happiness: 
something to do,
someone to love, 
something to hope for.




Immanuel Kant

I got dressed this morning. For myself. 

Put on eye liner. For myself.

Put on my favorite red lipstick. For myself.

Showed a bit of skin. For myself.

I wanted to be beautiful. For myself.

There are years that ask questions and years that answer.

Zora Neale Hurston

❝ I tell myself
Be a funny girl, baby.
Don’t let them see you
without a smile.
I tell myself
Don’t be boring, baby.
They’ll never stop teasing you
if you don’t make them laugh.
Fat girl. 
I tell myself
I can be a funny girl, instead.
Funny girl can make people
forget.
I tell myself
Don’t you dare be sad
in front of them. Don’t you
dare cry.
I tell myself not to fall in love
with the first boy who likes
my poetry.
I tell myself not to fall in love
with the first boy who doesn’t
like my jokes.
Funny girl, he can see how serious
you are.
I tell myself not to fall in love with
the first boy who doesn’t ask me
to make him laugh.
Funny girl isn’t a clown, I think.
Don’t fall in love because 
it’s been so long, baby.
Don’t fall in love because
he likes it when you cry.
I tell myself to be careful.
Funny girl is running out
of punchlines, and she is using
her own jaw instead.
Funny girl is dying with a smile,
swallowing down a panic attack
when she has to squeeze into a seat
on the bus.
I tell myself
No one can hurt you if you
hurt yourself, first. They will be
too busy helping you clean up the mess.
I tell myself
You don’t have to wear this armor
if it is too heavy.
You don’t have to
be afraid of your silence.
Funny girl, you are so much more
than what you’ve let yourself become.
You are not a circus, okay?
You are not a circus.
You are not a circus. ❞


Funny Girl (after Fat Girl by Megan Falley) | Caitlyn Siehl   

20 años no es nada

"so now you’re about to turn twenty and the world hasn’t gotten any bigger for you. you’re untouched, unloved, unprepared. your parents still pay for your gas. your friends all have internships. one of them even got cast to be in a movie. you’ve got all this talent that you don’t know how to share. you just want to fuck someone, anyone, to feel a little less like an island. the man at the McDonald’s drive-thru held both sides of your hand when he handed you your change and you cried the entire way home. skin burns. you’re about to turn twenty and you feel like you’re fifteen. you sleep for fourteen hours and still need a nap. the world is shrinking one empty heartache at a time.
you’re scared you’ll never find anyone to love you, not even well. you’ll settle for anything.
don’t.
you’re about to turn twenty and they never remind you how young that is. falling in love does not make you grow up, heartbreak does, and there is more than one way to fall apart.
you’re about to turn twenty and it’s okay if you aren’t ready. it’s okay if you aren’t ready. it’s okay."

turning 20 | Caitlyn S.


Necesitaba esto.
Mucho.